Vacant
by Yoruichi 'Ino
Summary: She understood now his cryptic ways—he was trying to prevent her any pain. But he didn’t consider the vacancy his death would have produced, and did, produce her. Kalulu


Kallen Kozuki. Lelouch is dead. I am thinking that she had to have gone through some sort of depression after the death of the first man she loved. So because that feeling is something many can relate to, me included, I came up with this. Hope you like.

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--Vacant--

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**Disclaimer:**Code Geass belongs to Sunrise and Clamp, not me. ¬¬  
**Summary:** She understood now his cryptic ways—he was trying to prevent her any pain. But he didn't consider the vacancy his death would have produced, and did, produce her. Kalulu

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Kallen Kozuki lied completely motionless on her bed. She had her back to the ceiling and her face in her white pillow. Had there not been the very slightest movement of her back rising to signal she was breathing, one would have perceived the Red Lotus as dead. Her aqua eyes were devoid of the wild, violent storm that had once had been present there. Due to her state, Kallen didn't notice her mother stare at her from the doorway. It seemed that all Kallen had been doing for the past few weeks was sleep. Was it because of the depression or something more?

"Kallen, honey?" The redhead's mom quietly entered her daughter's bedroom. Concern washed over her as she looked at Kallen's for. "I'm going to buy groceries. I love you, Sweetie." Getting no response, Kallen's dejected mother left the room.

After what seemed like an eternity later, Kallen slowly stood up from her bed. In an almost somnambulist-like motion, she walked towards her window. The outside world seemed to coincide with her feelings: dark, gloomy, alone. God, how she hated the feeling of being without him.

"Lelouch…" Turning toward his picture, Kallen felt as a teardrop rolled down her rosy cheek. He, Lelouch vi Britannia, had devised a plan so genius, so flawless, to join the world together. He had sacrificed his life in order to reach peach throughout the world. She should be glad for the turnout of his plans, but a part of her wasn't. She had her mother and Japan, but not Lelouch.

The Kozuki had hated him before the epiphany of what he had done hit. He had been so cryptic, so stoic, towards her. He never told her what she had meant to him. In her mind though, she wanted to think that Lelouch had truly cared for her. He had saved her many times from death, whether the danger had been head on or at a distant. Kallen wanted to think that he loved her, just as she had loved him.

Because she finally could admit it. She wasn't in platonic love with Zero, or at least anymore. No, she was undeniably, irrevocably in love with Lelouch vi Britannia. She wanted to think that the kiss they had shared had meant something. She wanted to think that she wasn't the only one who had felt fireworks.

Kallen knew she wasn't crazy about that kiss. Gino had tried to profess his new-found love for her. While Kallen did find him incredibly sweet, when Gino had kissed her, Kallen had felt nothing. It didn't even reach the heels of the kiss with Lelouch. Gino had been understanding about the situation; though he did promise that he wasn't going to give up. The Kozuki smiled, saying maybe someday he would be the one to fill the vacancy of her heart.

That same night she had dreamt of Lelouch. Eerily enough, it didn't seem like a dream, but rather a real moment. The Geass user has approached her, and then embraced her as he asked how the new world was coming about. In an instant, his lips were locked on hers. The magic erupted in that kiss. In that dream, Lelouch had confessed his true feelings for the pilot. But he told her she had to move on; she had to live on. Before Kallen could protest, her dream ended.

The sad part was that the dream was only the first night Lelouch entered her subconscious. Each time it was a different conversation though—making the Kozuki wonder if she was going crazy. Every dream they would talk about their days and such. And yet…different as the dreams were conversation wise, they always ended the same: Lelouch telling Kallen to live on. With each time the redhead awoke from her dreams, the more vacant she felt.

Maybe those dreams were why she knew Lelouch had loved her; why she wouldn't, and couldn't, forget about him. It was something she didn't want. But now she understood: their feelings were mutual. Lelouch was telling her by entering her mind each night. He felt the same vacancy at not having her as well.

Now Kallen understood her need to be alone and sleep. Her subconscious was the only place she and Lelouch could be happy—while she kept living for those who cared for her. In truth, Kallen preferred it this way. As long as she slept, she'd have him and she'd be happy. It was worth the vacant feeling she has once she woke up.


End file.
